Smiling Through the Noise: Tuning Out Unsolicited Family Advice While Wedding Planning
Let’s be real — wedding planning can bring out the best in people… but also the most opinionated. One minute you’re picking out napkin colors and feeling good about your vibe, and the next, your mom is asking if you’re really not doing a garter toss, your sister wants to know why her husband’s best friend didn’t make the guest list, and your cousin is emailing you cake inspiration from Pinterest daily.
I’ve seen this happen so many times — especially with moms and siblings. The pressure is real. And the worst part? A lot of it comes from people who genuinely love you. That’s what makes it so hard to navigate.
So let’s talk about it.
Why Everyone Thinks They Get a Say
Weddings are emotional. For many families, it’s a milestone they’ve been imagining for years — especially moms. It’s their moment too, and sometimes that excitement turns into control, criticism, or confusion when the couple’s choices don’t line up with what they expected.
It can also activate a weird sense of nostalgia or “do-over” energy. People might try to project their own regrets, missed moments, or traditions onto your day — even if your style and relationship are totally different.
And if you’re the first in your family to get married (or the first to do it differently) — buckle up. You’re breaking the mold, and that can make people uncomfortable.
I also find that because Takk House has so much to offer, you may seem more relaxed during the process which makes little alarms go off in your family’s minds. They may not understand how all-inclusive Takk really is and ask you a lot of planning questions that we address early on. Most things are under one roof! Fewer vendors and planning on your end, but it makes outsiders feel out of the loop and uneasy.
How to Protect Your Peace Without Starting a Family Feud
1. Have a go-to phrase.
Practice a calm, polite response that you can use when people cross the line. Something like:
“Thanks for the idea — we’re trying to keep things true to us, but I appreciate your excitement.”
or
“That’s not quite our vibe, but I love how much you care.”
2. Set boundaries early.
Let your family know upfront that you and your partner are making the decisions together — and that while you love them, you’re not looking for a group project. It might feel awkward at first, but it saves everyone from resentment down the line.
3. Loop in a buffer person.
If you have a planner, coordinator, or even a super supportive friend, let them help. They can be the one who says, “That’s not in the plan,” so you don’t have to be the bad guy every time.
4. Pick your battles.
Sometimes, letting your aunt bring her signature cookies or agreeing to let your mom choose a song for the ceremony can be a sweet compromise. Just make sure it’s not coming at the cost of your comfort or identity. Give folks a job so they feel included!
5. Take breaks from planning.
Turn your phone off. Go on a date where you don’t talk about the wedding at all. Get back in touch with each other and why you're doing this in the first place.
You Deserve to Feel Like Yourself on Your Wedding Day
At the end of the day, this is about you two. Your style, your energy, your love story. Not your mom’s vision board or your sister’s color-coded spreadsheets.
If you need a reminder — or someone to help hold those boundaries for you — I’m here for that. I’ve worked with so many couples who’ve felt the pressure, and I promise, it’s okay to say no to what doesn’t feel right. You’re allowed to protect the joy in this season.
This day should feel like yours — not a performance.
And yes… you really can skip the garter toss. 😉